“She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

I am trying really hard to spend less time on social media but it’s like a sticky trap and I am struggling to free myself. I am trying to spend less time on the Internet in general, but that’s harder. Everything I do is caught up in this online world. I reach for a device so many times a day to check the time, text my kids, read the news, check the weather, check my email, use my bird app, snap a photo, shop, pay bills, scroll on Instagram, use GPS, listen to music and audiobooks — blog… I even use a device to make art and write sometimes. Ha! I have been making an effort to put down the devices for longer periods of time. I leave my phone in another room while I am working. That one is hard because I am a mom and I need to have my phone close by in case one of my kids needs me but with the ringer turned up and the screen out of site, I am managing some successful distancing.

I have also started to write in a an old school paper journal again –in cursive! I have started carrying a journal and a sketchbook around with my laptop. They are all three the same size and I slide them into a tote to carry them to the studio each day. As I work online now, I jot down notes in my paper journal to help me remember things. I am sketching and pasting scraps from my daily life into a visual journal again like I used to do as a young artist so I can use my hands (and brain) for more than scrolling and tapping. I even bought a vintage typewriter and I leave a sheet of paper in it at my studio so I can stop and type something anytime. It sounds silly but this act of looking away from the screen and typing something or handwriting a thought in my journal or sketching something with a pencil on paper does something to my brain that feels so positive–so much healthier than anything I do with a phone or computer. I feel like I am stepping back through the looking glass every time I look away from a screen and start writing or drawing in a book. It’s a little discombobulating!

“I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass

I have begrudgingly accepted that I can’t function without the Internet. I know it is a useful tool but I am trying to back away a little bit so it doesn’t become a drug that controls and debilitates and blinds me but it is hard to rewire a brain. I am obviously not a luddite but I do believe rethinking how I use the Internet is important for my health and my work.

I know this blog is just one more thing I am doing with a device. Silly isn’t it? It’s a step away from Instagram though and for the sake of my mental health and for political reasons that I can’t ignore, I need to take a step back and so I have attempted to create a space that is less cluttered and toxic. I doubt anyone will follow me here. I have tried this little experiment before and failed. It seems everyone is stuck in the sticky trap and mostly I talk to myself over here. I like the idea of having my own online space again though–and a paper journal again too. I am going to try to spend more time on this side of the looking glass.

“Where should I go?” -Alice. “That depends on where you want to end up.” – The Cheshire Cat.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass