I have deactivated one Instagram account and deleted the the other–the public one. I only have one piece of art out of the studio in a small group exhibition right how and I will have to drive a couple of days to bring it home but then I will be done showing my work for the year. I just wrapped up my last workshop at the studio, which was disappointing and have decided not to offer anymore. I have also left the arts organizations where I had memberships. I have one solo show on the calendar for late 2027 but I can’t really see that far ahead. It might happen or it might not. Every other day or so I decide to push hard and make a meaningful show that I don’t tell anyone about on social media until it’s ready to share but on other days, and there are more and more of these days of late, I think I should just cancel the show and call this stage of my career–my life done.

I have had two people tell me that they are interested in collaborating but excuses and apologies keep being extended my way with no real plans or conversations ever happening. I am pretty sure nothing will ever happen.

Last week I started thinking about what I would like to if I decided to quit playing the art world game. Recently, I put up a gate to keep folks off my property unless invited and I don’t have any plans to go see any more exhibitions for a while. I don’t want the noise in my head or the toxic anxiety that appears in my body in those settings. I have started making lists and drawing, sewing, sculpting, writing and reading and, if I am honest, that is all I want to do outside of eating and sleeping and caring for a playing with my dogs and tramping around in the woods at this stage of my life. I think my goal for 2026 is to keep my gate closed, live simply and enjoy myself. I feel like giving up on interacting with people–for a while anyway. I need time to just be and a lot less time being on show.

I have been retreating with a new purpose in mind. This isn’t quitting. This is what a fresh start looks like for me.