No more social media. No more memberships. No more juried shows or competitions. No more workshops. I am longing for a quiet year. I am going to spend this year observing, reading, listening, researching, writing and making and I’ll be doing it without sharing progress or updates on social media. I like sharing photos and essays but I’ve grown weary of the noise on social media and so tired of feeling like I have to compete for attention. I am sick to death of the words share and community. I want to see if the way I approach my work changes if I step away from Instagram and Substack. I think it will. I hope it will. I think being on social media messes with time and memory and kills the imagination. I think it’s sucking my brain dry. I am not willing to give any more of my attention and energy to that way of sharing. I don’t want to be a Borg anymore. Today I just couldn’t stand the noise in my head anymore so I deleted all of my accounts. I don’t think anyone will miss me. I was being swallowed up in the ocean of voices and images and pushed down by the algorithm anyway. I feel like I am disconnecting just in the nick of time. The world feels so upside down and backwards these days. I need some peace. I need some distance so I can get a clearer picture of what is going on and figure out how to survive in this messed up world. I need to try to heal my brain and spirit and find my art again.

I miss the slow, deliberate way I used to work. I miss being able to work on a painting for weeks and never showing it to anyone until it is finished. I used to spend months making entire bodies of work for exhibitions without sharing anything until the art was installed in a gallery or museum. I want to return to that way of working. I am not really sure it’s possible to work that way anymore. By severing ties and not promoting and selling myself online, I have probably just ended my career but I think the way of things these days is so ugly and cheap and crass. I feel like I’ve been robbed of my confidence and my joy. I need to take this year away from the fray to make art and live my life in a slower and more deliberate way to see if I can get some of my confidence and joy and healthy back.

I am going to use this space as a journal. I’ll be blogging in the old school way with no RSS feed of newsletters being sent to anyone’s inbox. I am not even going to share link to this space with anyone. No one would leave Instagram to come read it anyway. I have tried to coax them away before. No one was willing or able to wander this far away from the hive. So, this is my little desert island, I guess. I’ll be shouting and scribbling and dancing away over here –like no one is watching because I am pretty sure no one is. Ha!

I need a place to store things and I have gotten in the habit of writing on my computer and like the idea of compiling photos and essays and research in one place and I am paying for this stupid domain so I may as well use it. I also hope by taking up blogging again that it will help me resist the urge to go back to social media. Gotta be gentle with my brain as I try to break old habits and wear some new grooves. I have failed at leaving Instagram so many times before but I am going to see if I can do it this time. I think my work and life will be better for leaving. This space will be my methadone.

And so, as I slide out of the big monster social stream and turn my attention toward nature and art and literature and music, I am going to call this year my Hermit Year. I have been slowly backing out of obligations and relationships for the past few months. My kids are the only people I care about spending time with right now so I am not completely isolated but they are young and have their own lives so I will be on my own a lot of the time. I am going to research the lives and stories of hermits and recluses and make art and write about my findings and my experiences. I have no idea where this experiment will lead. It’s something different though and it’s something that feels more meaningful than showing off and begging for attention and doom scrolling on social media. I think it’s kind of exciting.